The Army hates the bloomin’ sight of the Navy
And how the Navy hates the bloomin’ Marines.
But the Army and the Navy and Marines will take a stand
At the son of a gun who picks on Uncle Sam.
Though Capital make take a wallop at Labor
The CIO may slug the AF of L
But the AF of L and the CIO are ready to take a wham
At the son of a gun who picks on Uncle Sam.

Though our melting pot may boil red hot
With a thousand diff’rent types,
Though we Lefts and Rights may have our fights
We all stand pat out on the no-good rat
Who belittles the Stars and Stripes.

Oh, Florida may love to roast California,
Republicans may roast the old Democrats,
But a hundred and thirty million strong
Are ready to roast the ham
Of the one who picks on Uncle Sam,
Of the son of a gun who picks on Uncle Sam.

The Giants how they love to cripple the Dodgers.
The Dodgers how they love to scuttle the Cubs.
But the Dodgers and the Giants and Cubs’ll take a wham
At the son of a gun who picks on Uncle Sam.
Oh Harvard likes to slit the gullet of Princeton
And Princeton likes to rip the gizzard of Yale.

But Harvard, Yale and Princeton - rah! -
Will sever the diaphragm
Of the son of a gun who picks on Uncle Sam.
Though the East fights West
it’s all in jest
It’s a purely private gag.
Though the North or South shoots off its mouth
They’re set to shoot the uncouth galoof
Who’s afraid to salute the flag.
The city slicker likes to heckle the yokel
The local yokel likes to heckle the hick.
But the slicker and the hicker and the yokel take a slam
At the one who picks on Uncle Sam.

Though our melting pot may boil red hot,
With a thousand diff'rent types,
Though we Lefts and Rights may have our fights,
We all stand pat on the no good rat
Who belittles the Stars and Stripes.

The Cabots like to take a whack at the Kellys.

The Kellys like to take a whack at the Cohns.
But the Cabots and the Kellys and the Cohns’ll roast the ham
Of the son of a gun, son of a gun,
The rootin’ tootin’ shootin’ hootin’ snootin’ bootin’ highfalutin’
Son of a gun who picks on Uncle Sam.

[lyrics transcribed by listening. It's always nice to have another set of ears, especially with this song. Send corrections to the webmaster address above]