The 12 (or More) Days of the Christmastime Election Dispute
by Kevin Underhill

With the understanding that the use of the term 'Christmas' is intended as a generic reference to the holiday period as commonly understood, and not as representing an excessive entanglement with any particular religious group or ceremony. --

On the first day of Christmas -- the term 'days' being construed liberally to include the concept of "stages," and thus not necessarily limited to actual 24-hour time periods -- Ralph Nader gave to me, an uncertain presidency.

On the second day of Christmas, Palm Beach gave to me -- having designed a ballot not in accordance with state electoral law -- two abortive hand recounts and an uncertain presidency.

On the third day of Christmas, Katherine Harris gave to me, an order to stop on the grounds that I could not complete all 12 verses by the federally imposed deadline of December 12th. On appeal, that order was vacated as an abuse of discretion, but the court directed me to proceed to day (or "stage") 12 nonetheless.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Florida Supreme Court gave to me, a controversial ruling, many gripers griping, spin doctors spinning, nine Supremes-a-waiting, eight judges counting, several Greens-a-gloating, one Tom-DeLay-ing, *five kinds of chads,* a four-judge majority, three in dissent, two presidents-elect and an uncertain presidency.